I really hated writing this song's lyrics. Even now, I still get a little caught up in the emotions when listening to it.
Blood is Thicker Than Water is another song that I based around my Grandfather. I don't come from a large family. When we all got together, my Grandfather and Grandmother were even more happy and proud. As happy as they were, they knew that this family was going to fall apart, probably while they were both still alive.
This is another time where my Grandfather would speak quietly to me, and say "It's only you and your Mother. Take care of each other. You have no one else to rely on." Years went by, and as each month had passed, excuses were made, people were "busy" and judgements were starting to spit out like venom on an unsuspecting victim.
My relationship with outside of my Grandparents and Mom in my immediate family was a very frayed one. They didn't understand my long hair, or my deep love for metal, the dark look, etc. My Mother with the rest of the family (also outside of my Grandparents) - she was considered a black sheep, because she fought for what she believed in, and she was different as well.
The rest of the family chose friends over us, all of the time. I remember one day where my Grandparents, Mom and I found out that we weren't invited to a surprise party for one of the other family members. All of us were just shocked. Things got worse and worse, then the fighting started. My Grandparents were not getting any younger and my Grandfather started to decline in health, rapidly. He started getting weak and my Mom and I knew that he didn't have much time left.
My Mom and I, along with my Grandmother got the whole family together one last time and sat down for a dinner. When the "family" all sat down together, I have to admit - it was one of the most unsettling, moments in my life, ever.
My Mom and I talking, the rest of the family talking amongst themselves, not making any eye contact, feeling very out of place.
My Mother was sitting next to my Grandfather, and he started to laugh quietly. He said to my Mother "look at this." He was referring to the whole situation. He knew - even in his last days, he knew. He also knew that my Mom had been the most grounded of all his daughters.
In all of my years in this family, everything made sense within the last few years of all of us being together. I kept thinking that there would be a change that would happen. They didn't care about family, except when it was in their favor. The kids were raised to act just like their parents, so they flipped out when they saw their once strong and proud grandparents withering away. They were in their own world (their parents included) choosing to always be around friends and always caring about social status. Everything made sense.
And there I was with My Mother, and my Grandparents - knowing that it really would be just my Mother and I, when all was said and done.
The song itself is about when someone in your family passes away that you are extremely close with. Some people that you were close with, either within friends or family turn their back on you, and how it would make the person feel that passed away, feel, and how the people that are alive that got hurt, feel.
I remember recording this song with Tony. I was in the booth. I looked at the day on my phone, and automatically remembered that it was probably a day or two around his passing. I started weeping and I'm glad that Tony was there. He and I spoke for a little bit and I got through it. When I finished the song, a weight was lifted.
What I want you to take from this is, you can't choose your family. You can however choose your friends that can become your family, along with your reliable family. If you are close to one or two of your family members - stay close to them and be there for them, as they will be there for you. There are SO many people who want to just judge you, fill you with empty promises and only be there when they need something. Blood really is thicker than water.
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